ReviewDJRA132AF < EMI

EMI Web>EmiDocuments>EmiDeliverables>DeliverableDJRA132>ReviewDJRA132AF (2011-05-20, AGieslerExternal) (raw view)
---+ SA1/JRA1 Deliverable Review Form

| *Identification of the deliverable or milestone* ||
| Project:	EMI | Deliverable or milestone identifier:	D5.3.2 |
| Title: DJRA1.3.2 – Security Area Work Plan and Status Report | Doc. identifier: EMI-DJRA1.3.2_v0.3.odt |
| Author(s): John White | Due date: ____ |

| *Identification of the reviewer* |||
| Name: Andre Giesler | Affiliation: JUELICH | EMI Activity/External project or Institute: SA1/JRA1 |

| Review date | 05/03/2011 (Section 3) and 05/20/2011 |
| Author(s) revision date | 05/04/2011 (Section 3) -5/20/2011 (Sections 1,2,4,5) |
| Reviewer acceptance date | mm/dd/yyyy |

Attach the reviewed document to the deliverable page, put here a link

---++ General comments

The reviewed chapter 3 is structured very clearly and can also be read very fluently. All in all, there are almost no comments from my side.

It is clearly outlined in the workplan who has to do what, until when , and which risks can influent the result. I have noted only some spelling and a few other comments in my review. If my comments (almost only formatting and typos) are adressed I would accept the document. 


---++ Additional recommendations (not affecting the document content, e.g.  recommendation for future work)




---++ Detailed comments on the content

*Note 1*: The reviewers must list here any observation they want to track explicitly and that require interaction with the authors%BR%
               Alternatively all changes must be listed in the document itself using Word change tracking features (if you use Word)%BR%
*Note 2*: These comments have to be explicitly addressed by the authors and the action taken must be clearly described

| N° | Page | Section | Observations and Replies | Is Addressed? |
| 1 | 9 | 3.3 | Missing bullet at The API definitions in C/C++ %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 02-May-20111%BR% Added. -- Main.JohnWhite - 04-May-2011 | yes |
| 2 | 10 | 3.5 | The planning of the replacement of Unicore Uvos by VOMS-SAML is mentioned as an objective both in chapter 3.5 (Common attribute authority) and 3.6 (Reduction in components). Could be reduced to be mentioned in only one chapter. %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 02-May-20111%BR% I have added the text to 3.6 "(as mentioned above as part of the Common Attribute Authority objective)" to point out the fact we realise this is reported in two places. -- Main.JohnWhite - 04-May-2011 | yes |
| 3 | | |As the work in the area goes this UVOS->VOMS gets looked at both from the point of view of a technical advance (common SAML profile everywhere) and a more "political" decision to reduce components to make the EU feel happy. Is this OK with you?  -- Main.JohnWhite - 04-May-2011| yes |

Review of sections 1,2,4,5
| N° | Page | Section | Observations and Replies | Is Addressed? |
| 1 | 9 | 2 | Maybe I'm overcorrect here, but the sentence 'Also the agreement on common SAML...' doesn't contain a verb %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |
|||| I have changed the sentence to "Other technical highlights are the agreements on common EMI profiles for SAML and XACML and the common authentication library APIs." -- Main.JohnWhite - 20-May-2011 |||
| 2 | 9 | 2 | Missing full stop at 'objectives in DNA1.3.1. eg. user ' ... e.g. user ...  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| Corrected. Also picked up about four more! |||
| 3 | 9 | 2 | Two spaces at 'for a  common set '  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |  
|||| Corrected |||
| 4 | 16 | 4 | Two spaces at 'objectives, giving '  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |  
|||| Corrected |||
| 4 | 17 | 4.3 | Spelling:  dicsussions  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |  
|||| Corrected |||
| 4 | 18 | 4.3.3 | A minor issue, but since ARGUS integration in A-REX is mentioned in 4.3.3, A-REX could be also mentioned in introducing paragraph 4.3 (only HED is there mentioned)   %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |  
|||| Yup. Changed the sentence in 4.3 to end as: "The affected components are Argus , UNICORE XACML entity (UNICORE PDP), ARC HED and A-REX." I have added A-REX to the terminology table as well. |||
| 4 | 20 | 4.8 | Correct the double quotes format at to access a ``Grid''”.  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| I have changed "Grid" to 'Grid'. I need to quote the objectives verbatim in order to make clear these are not my words. We based our plans on the literal statements of these objectives as interpretation and changes only leads to trouble. |||
| 4 | 20 | 4.8 | Two spaces at by most  Grid infrastructures  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| Corrected |||
| 4 | 20 | 4.8 | Correct sentence: there are still identity federation requirement-gathering exercises still ongoing.  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  |  | 
| 4 | 21 | 4.8.2.2 | As far as I know, the URC is not part of EMI and therefore not known in that document. I think only Hila and UCC should be mentioned here. "The development of a STS/AAI client-side library for UNICORE, useful for both HiLA, UCC and URC."  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |
|||| I will confirm with Krzysztof Benedyczak, will remove URC. Will add definitions for Hila and UCC to table. -- Main.JohnWhite - 20-May-2011 |||
|||| In fact URC gets mentioned in 4.10.2.2 as well. Have corrected the sentences there to: "The development of a STS/AAI client-side library for UNICORE, useful for both HiLA and UCC (URC will use this library as well, but outside the EMI project)." -- Main.JohnWhite - 20-May-2011 |||
| 4 | 22 | 4.9.3.1 | Correct order  "It is not defined yet  the  if C++ library will be implemented "  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| Yup. Bad sentence. I have changed it to "Presently, it is not decided if the C++ library will be implemented on top of the C version or will use an independent code-base." |||
| 4 | 23 | 4.10 | Something is missing here  "planned and delivered by EMI the SAML group project month 4 "  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes |
|||| Yup, you're right. I have changed the sentence to "In order to achieve this target, an agreement on common set of SAML authorization attributes was planned and delivered by EMI the SAML group in the EMI PM4." |||
| 4 | 25 | 4.13 | The risk...  "The risks associated to the tasks in this objective is that "  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| Corrected |||
| 4 | 25 | 4.18.1.2 | refer..  "Resources refers "  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | yes | 
|||| I have changed the start of the sentence to "In this context, “resources” refer to:" |||

| x | xx | xxx | Minor commont: In general, the space between the paragraphs could be checked again. Between the paragraphs in one chapter are sometimes two lines(e.g. in 4.8), and between two chapters is one line (4.8. and 4.8.1)  %BR%\
-- Main.AndreGiesler - 19-May-20111%BR%  | | 
|||| Yeah... another effect of using crappy typesetting software. I will remove all spaces manually between headings and paragraph ones -- Main.JohnWhite - 20-May-2011 |||
|||| OK... mega-amounts of clickings and I think I've removed all the spaces. It's better now but not LaTeX. |||

Any other modification, spelling or grammatical corrections, etc must be done directly in the document using tracked changes or similar mechanisms that allows the authors to identify which correction is suggested.

*Note 3*: Hello Andre, I am just letting you know that I went through section 3 again myself and picked up a few errors and missing references. I haven't touched any parts corrected by you. I have put these into v0.5. No need to review yet until Morris has made the Gantt chart.I've also done all the other stuff like Exec Summary, Abstract, Conclusions etc. Cheers, John.

-- Main.AlbertoDiMeglio - 12-Jul-2010



-- Main.FloridaEstrella - 29-Apr-2011
Topic revision: r14 - 2011-05-20 - AGieslerExternal
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